Monday, March 30, 2009

Rewards

Potty training is frustrating.

Potty training is hard.

Potty training is not fun.

Ryan has his good days, his bad days and sometimes his ugly days when it comes to potty training. On the ugly days, I am at my wits end and I want to give up the fight.

I started Ryan's journey at getting trained when he turned 15 months. I was determined to prove all the nah sayers wrong who insisted boys are harder to train then girls. To our surprise, he enjoyed using the potty and at times left a deposit for us to praise him for and boy did we give him lots of positive praise.
But he was never consistent and didn't show a complete interest in being trained....

After he turned 2 years old and we knew we were expecting Kara the following year, I tried even harder to get him trained. What mom wants two little ones in diapers?
So we stepped up our game plan...

We bought potty seats. We bought books. We bought videos.
We even caved and bought organic lollipops and M&M's.

Did they work? Nope.

Now here we are at almost 3 and 1/2 years old, still playing this tug-a-war potty game.
Here is what I've learned so far...

  1. Ryan is stubborn.
  2. Ryan is still at the "I don't care if I pee or poop in my pants" stage. sigh
  3. Ryan understands how to use the potty but hasn't grasp the concept of just going to the bathroom without being reminded to do so ALL DAY LONG. sigh
  4. The more I push, the more he fights me.
  5. I have to make potty training seem fun all the time or he won't go...
  6. That even with all the daily struggles, we finally feel confident enough to take him out in public with his big boy underwear on. He has not had an accident yet and will go on public toilets. YAY
  7. The one thing that has worked 90% of the time is taking away his favorite things to do. Watch cartoons in the morning and playing his games on the computer.
  8. I need to take this one day at a time and not get worked up over it.
  9. Ryan needs to realize that he should just go potty when he gets the urge or tell someone.
  10. That I need to be consistent with him and remain hopeful that he will become trained. sooner rather than later. :)

This past weekend was a rough one and I fully expected today to be the same. Mondays are always hard because he has to adjust to not seeing Chris all day again. But I was pleasantly surprised when Ryan stayed dry the entire day and really didn't fight me when I asked him to use the potty. He not only pooped once but twice on the potty so being true to my word, I allowed him to play his games on the laptop.

Who knew all the bells and whistles and candy wouldn't work? The one reward he loves to receive is a little Playhouse Disney online.

I don't fight this because I will take fun educational rewards over candy any day. Plus, he seems to be a computer genius already at 3 years old. He completely amazes me with how he is able to use the keyboard at such a young age. I decided to video tape him enjoying his reward today for everyone to see...he is just too cute with his dance moves and air guitar!

Ryan and the Imagination Movers...


7 comments:

debilyn said...

Sorry it's been such a frustrating road for you! I have to be honest and say that I can't empathize much, at least not in this area. For whatever reason, my kids were all "hassle-free" potty-trained within 48 hours of starting...

maybe God just figured it would be a battle I couldn't handle??!!

Lori-ann said...

One thing we need to realize with potty training, unlike so many other aspects of raising little kids, this is the one aspect that we can't control! As frustrating as it seems! Because it's something very personal with our child's body - it's something that they need to learn. Maybe Ryan feels like this is the only aspect of his little world that he CAN control. Maybe giving him more choices in his life - like which shirt would you like wear? This one or this one? (I have no idea what you do or what choices you give him.) Maybe that would help and help him feel like he has more freedom and control, but where either choice is perfectly acceptable. Or which plate would he like his lunch on today? Things like that. Just suggestions. :)

I know it's hard not to get worked up about it. Does Ryan do better on those days where you don't get upset compared to the days that you do?

Good luck. Potty training has never been easy for my kids either. We haven't had any luck with our Ryan. But then, there's his disability and he just doesn't comprehend it yet. He will though! Oh yes, he will.

3 Bay B Chicks said...

I am in the exact same situation as you when it comes to potty training. If it weren't so frustrating, it might actually be funny. Our boys are even the same age!

Did you notice that something has been missing from your blog? It might have happened around the time I stopped commenting? I’m sorry about all that. I took a little hiatus from the blogosphere, but I couldn’t stay away too long. After a break, I had to come by again and see what you’ve been up to.

Glad that I did.

-Francesca

Our Family said...

Awwwl, go Ryan. He'll get it Bobbi don't worry I know its hard to believe but I promise you he won't be 15 years old and pooping in his pants. ahahahaha. I remember with Riley our frustrations as well. You just need to stay consistant and steadfast he'll get it. He's a smarty to but you found his vice. You could make a chart and hang it next to the toilet he can mark, for every star, he gets 15 minutes on Disney Games.

Jaci said...

I'm sorry about your potty training struggles! That's a tough place for moms to be in. If it's any help, just remember that it's all up to HIM--and not a reflection on you or you mothering abilities if he refuses to go. You can lead a child to the potty but you can't make him pee!

Can I say how adorable your blog is? How cute is your ticking clock (and how true)? Too bad it's the wrong time for me! (You must be out west.)

Hope you don't mind, but I'm becoming a follower!

Jenni said...

I'm so sorry that this has been such a rough go. I wish I had some helpful advice, but I have absolutely no experience in this and have not even read or researched anything about it since we're still on our first and he's only 9 and 1/2 months. :) But I know our time will be coming...ugh.

Good luck with it all. I like what Lori-ann said though. I will have to remember that.

Cupcake Dreamer said...

I can't believe the picture of the hail you posted.. and your post about potty training. I hope that we can make it with our little girls once they make it to this stage. I can't imagine having to worry about it like you have thus far, but feel good to know the right person to come to when I get frustrated and have questions.

Thanks so much for all the wonderful comments you've been posting lately. I'm so glad to know that someone is listening. :)